"And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older and see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it's already happened."
-Douglas Couplin


I'm missing dinner, but the thought of being around her makes it worth it. The thought of loosing some weight makes it worth it. Why do girls think it's attractive to have eating disorders? I don't have one. But like ones who advertise that they'll supposedly missed dinner on purpose or something lke that, that's annoying. Shallow minds are annoying. She said I'm always happy. That everyone in the family is sad, but I'm always happy. But I hardly ever feel happy. I guess that means I've trained myself to put this front on better than I thought. Which is kinda good. But I want hope. I want help. She yells. She doesn't care who gets hurt. I'm so hurt. I can't even repair. Because before I even get the chance she's yelling again and I have no idea how I forgived her for the last time... Then tomorrow he'll come home. And she'll yell more. But he ignores it.. And sometimes she makes him think we deserve it.. Then he feels bad.. She'll say sorry but it's not enough. It she was really sorry she wouldn't keep doing it. And after I get upset, she'll make me feel worse by getting biddy buddy with Jake and making fun of me.. And don't even think I'm exaggerating, or making shit up. Because you have NO fucking idea. It's not your place to assume.. And I'm sick of assumptions..