Seeing the pictures of everyone dressed up for prom makes me feel stupid for not going.
But,... it wouldn't have been worth it anyways.
I'll make up for it.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
9:12 P.M.
I'd like to call myself a free spirit but, I think that would also require me to call myself a liar.
9:37 P.M.
I make lists before I go to sleep so that I wont have to keep remembering things when I am trying to sleep then I lay them in my future footsteps so I wont even have to remember to look at them when I wake up.
10:11 P.M.
I take too many pictures, but I only do it because I just want to preserve everything. Sometimes the sun is just right and it makes everything look better, and sometimes when you are walking on the beach the sun makes your foot prints look inside out. It's things like this that I wouldn't like to forget. So, I take pictures that will last longer than it takes me to get sick of looking at them. But as I am taking these pictures, I am not really focusing on the whole thing as it is happening... And I wonder if maybe it would be better to just soak it in.. And just try to never let it fade. Then maybe things would be more enjoyable and maybe it would make my spirit feel more free.
10:48 P.M.
I've recently realized that I always keep track of time. I’m not sure why, maybe I just need to always be keeping tabs on something or maybe I am just making sure that I’m not losing too much time. My obsession is at its worst when I am anticipating something. I think that I am always anticipating something though, whether it is the end of the day, dinner, a first date, seeing a certain smile.. or just waiting for a chance to tell someone that joke my brother told over Christmas break.
11:02 P.M.
Sometimes I lay and think about things that probably shouldn't matter. I just lay in bed and I keep thinking and I try really hard not to.. I rub my feet back and forth and try to just stare at the ceiling but, that makes the darkness in my room at little too obvious and I have to turn on my television so that I don't think about how I could die at this certain time.
11:45 P.M.
I will usually just leave my television on the TV guide channel and roll towards my wall so that I wont stare at the television which makes it easier for me to close my eyes. But then I keep rolling over and looking at the television and checking the time.. Anticipating my falling asleep and the later it gets the more I anticipate it and the more I anticipate it the further I get from sleep.
12:01 A.M.
When I am missing you, I wonder what I would say if you asked me one last time to go feed the ducks. I wonder if you will be alive when I am ready to forgive you. I wonder if you really even believe that you are telling the truth anymore.
But it’s 12:04 A.M. and I just lost a lot of time.
Goodnight.
I'd like to call myself a free spirit but, I think that would also require me to call myself a liar.
9:37 P.M.
I make lists before I go to sleep so that I wont have to keep remembering things when I am trying to sleep then I lay them in my future footsteps so I wont even have to remember to look at them when I wake up.
10:11 P.M.
I take too many pictures, but I only do it because I just want to preserve everything. Sometimes the sun is just right and it makes everything look better, and sometimes when you are walking on the beach the sun makes your foot prints look inside out. It's things like this that I wouldn't like to forget. So, I take pictures that will last longer than it takes me to get sick of looking at them. But as I am taking these pictures, I am not really focusing on the whole thing as it is happening... And I wonder if maybe it would be better to just soak it in.. And just try to never let it fade. Then maybe things would be more enjoyable and maybe it would make my spirit feel more free.
10:48 P.M.
I've recently realized that I always keep track of time. I’m not sure why, maybe I just need to always be keeping tabs on something or maybe I am just making sure that I’m not losing too much time. My obsession is at its worst when I am anticipating something. I think that I am always anticipating something though, whether it is the end of the day, dinner, a first date, seeing a certain smile.. or just waiting for a chance to tell someone that joke my brother told over Christmas break.
11:02 P.M.
Sometimes I lay and think about things that probably shouldn't matter. I just lay in bed and I keep thinking and I try really hard not to.. I rub my feet back and forth and try to just stare at the ceiling but, that makes the darkness in my room at little too obvious and I have to turn on my television so that I don't think about how I could die at this certain time.
11:45 P.M.
I will usually just leave my television on the TV guide channel and roll towards my wall so that I wont stare at the television which makes it easier for me to close my eyes. But then I keep rolling over and looking at the television and checking the time.. Anticipating my falling asleep and the later it gets the more I anticipate it and the more I anticipate it the further I get from sleep.
12:01 A.M.
When I am missing you, I wonder what I would say if you asked me one last time to go feed the ducks. I wonder if you will be alive when I am ready to forgive you. I wonder if you really even believe that you are telling the truth anymore.
But it’s 12:04 A.M. and I just lost a lot of time.
Goodnight.
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