I wish I could explain to you how I feel... I am seriously, my biggest enemy... I'm killing myself. I feel like I have two people inside me. One knows that the other side is wrong.. But the other side, it's bad The other side thinks I'm horrible. I can't do anything right.. Anything.
I'm in a fight and the other side is winning, I need help.. I need some help.
I'm trying so hard.
But it just has me split. With the cold and hot winds.
I'm sensing a tornado. Maybe this is the tornado..
But you can't hear this, you can't understand...
I'm sad..
I love Jesus.
I know I don't need a guy and I'm trying to keep reminded myself that but, the habit is in my veins. I wish I would have said no. I tried.. I was helpless. I was pathetic. I was the lamb.
And he was the lion.

I could have just stopped it. I could have. Why didn't I? I hate myself. Uhg.
Taylor said that I have too much damn respect for other people. And none for myself. And I believe that's the truth... She said I'm too scared. I'm too scared I'll hurt someone. And I'm killing myself while saving everyone else.


God, help me.