I'm very insecure, I'm not secure with myself at all. I think when most people think of insecure, they think of low self esteem. I don't believe I have low self esteem... I'm just not secure with myself. I've been trying to analyze myself.. So I can't kinda fix me.
Because I'm not secure with myself, I take forever to make sure I look my best, everyday. I hide behind my hair. And.. It also makes me very bad at making decisions, because I always doubt that I can make the right one. Every teenage girl wants to be skinnier.. Or wants to have a rounder butt, or bigger boobs or something dumb like that.. And I don't want to be like that. I thought I was fat when I weighed 112, and now, I weigh 117 and realize how stupid that was. If I ever feel like I'm fat now.. I try to remember that I thought I was fat back then.. And idk. It's hard to explain. Anyways, on friday, a kid told me I have a big butt.. And then he kept calling me fat. And I told Kareem about it. And he said I do have a big butt. And I told Jeremy about it... And he said I do have a big butt. I told you before about how I'm very insecure.. So. That didn't make me feel good.
Long story short, mom's going to get McDonalds. I told her I'm not hungry. I hate boys.