Why does everyone drink?
WHY AM I SO AGAINST IT?
Seriously.
It makes me so anxious.
Sam used to be straightedge! Or whatever. I hate walking into his room to see this empty beer bottles. I hate that whenever he's with Tom and Howie he's drinking.
I HATE DRINKING.
So bad.
If I could kill one person, I would kill alcohol.
Why do I hate it so?
I'm so pissed at the world.
I don't think I'll ever get over my aversion to alcohol.
I'll be having panic attacks at my wedding because they want me to drink champagne.
aslgkjakljgkljakljgkljaklj.
Fix me.
I know if I started to drink again, I would feel better about other people doing it. Its just that I try so hard not to want to drink. Maybe that's why I freak out around it. Cause I want it. And I can't want it. Cause if I want it, I'll get it. If I get it, I'll get more.. And I'll be just like mom.
Also, I find myself depressed when I put my book down because I am not in it.
This is an unhealthy obsession.
PLUS, .. Its just unhealthy that I want so badly to be in unreality.
2 comments:
Stay strong. I don't think drinking is bad per se, it just think people do it at your age because they are too much of a coward to be creative and try to figure out who they really are and what they really stand for. It sucked in highschool for me because I was the only one not doing it, and at the time, I was resentful because everyone was not really caring about anything substantial in the world, just what made them feel good and happy.
The same thing happens in college, except even more people drink...for the wrong reasons. To deal with stress or because they don't know what else to do. I wouldn't say people who drink are bad people. People should enjoy alcohol in moderation, just like food.
However 1 week from today I will be 21. I want to find a cool tavern with good beer away from all the annoying college kids, so I can just enjoy it for what it is.
Also, the thing about turning out like mom...she's an awesome person, and i would be thrilled if someone said i turned out like my mom. She's a strong person, and has taken a lot of crap, but is the most selfless person I know.
I assume you're probably talking about the mom you hear stories about from her. She went off track for a little while, but we all do, and she has taught me a lot about alcohol, happiness, and love. She didn't scare away from alcohol but I know what it can lead to if mishandled because of what she taught me.
It's a good thing you don't really have a desire to drink just to fit in, or because you are to lazy to be creative, or to ignore the problems around you. I'm proud of you. I know is hard right now, but your becoming a terrific person.
I love you sis.
also, the book thing...I get the same feeling. If it's a good book or movie, I can't think of anything but being in it and I get depressed. I don't feel crazy anymore, and you're now the first person I admitted that too. However it doesn't happen with every movie and book, just the really captivating ones.
lol...and starwars...i know i know...it's nerdy and not really a great movie, but I just want to force push.
And yes, I imagine myself force pushing random strangers on the street sometimes...does this mean I have an anger problem?
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